Zooooooo

Yup.. today, i went on a excursion to the zoo! accompanied by my guardians Mark aka Kiriez, Edwin aka Lowfatmilk n Leanna aka Mother Hen (joking! but she's really very caring =p)
Suuuuuuppppppppeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr tired... but fun bah ^^
silly mark convinced my mum to let me stay on for night safari too.. but at least i LOVED the bats! it's awesome with them up close ^^ too bad leanna was scared of anything flying haha =p
i swear i'm like a freaking tourist. i act sooooo childish n freakish n sooooo blur i even scared an ang moh group away from me >.<>.<
kkz u can tell alot more went on but i shall not say. skipped training yest coz i was still recovering from sickness, but might have to skip thursday roll-off too coz my legs r aching real bad now haha =p (fyi, bowling talk. =p)
kkz tc all. ciao for now. no pics coz all w leanna n those i took w my phone.... i can't post up >.< no cable haha =p
oh yah... about the recent tag... i'm not gonna raid this wk. mayb next wk too >.< yup WoW's taken it's toll on me, n raiding hurts. mayb it's coz i'm not in the right mental frame. mayb it's coz i sux. mayb it's coz of many things i don't know about, but who cares. bottomline is, Kopi gotta find other rogues for this wk. i'm wasted...

Update: Rag down.

Yup. For people following my gaming life, Kopi has downed Rag. for the record, it was on friday night eating into saturday morning, 12th/13th may.
Also, my province is uber shien for utopia. yup! i'm back at that game. will post more after my 1st war. 1+wk n still no war.. sighz.
I'm trying to level up my bandit for Maplestory. currently lvl35 still. lvl 36 looks sooo far away...
just wanna say a few thankful words to a few people. Darryl, Ian, Raine, Jon, it's fun hanging out with u guys. wait till Chong Han gets back. we'll create chaos LOL. not like we aren't already =p Kaori, it's always nice chatting with you. Same too with my WoW friends who i frequently chat with on msn (u know who u r. don't be shy ^^) Jo! yup i'm feeling better already. drop me an sms 2hr b4 u go for your runs if u want me along! i'll come down! ... does that mean i won't be getting any sms? =p lol ^^
kkz enough crap talk. i'm outta here. will blog again when something relatively important happens in any part of my life (including virtual. YES it's part of my life. i don't deny it. i have fun with it, so don't rob it from me mum. mum can play maplestory but is still adamant against my playing WoW >.<)

cya

Char Kway Teow... A Short Post.

Woot. Today, i cooked up my VERY OWN Char Kway Teow! (with my mum's guidance) =p
it's almost hawker standard, so gimme a bit more practise ^^ one day, i'll make u guys MY GUINEA PIGS muahahaha!!! >.<
kkz gtg for rag fight. if we down rag i'll let u know again.
btw, i lost my temper again. gonna keep posting here. mayb the "shame" will keep my temper in check.
but then again.. y can't pple put the past behind them? it's damn irritating..
ah well.. i'm no angel either.. but don't expect me to be one either! sighz..
kkz bbl. gonna log onto WoW now.

p.s. -edited- don't want some pple to see what i had in mind to say, which is sad coz it defeats the purpose of having a blog >.< i'll say things out one day. meanwhile, thanks darryl n raine it was fun ^^
p.p.s. i'm almost fully recovered! i can feel it! i'm... ... 1wk away frm full health? >.< sighz... *cough cough* i sux :(

u like potato hot or cold?

okok lame post title, but i m a potato wat..... or at least a potato eating person >.< (fyi for non-singaporeans, eating potato means u're exceptionally fluent in the english language... relative to the general singapore standard of english >.< that, n u SUCK at any other language, namely your mother tongue -,-'")
y hot? y cold? well.. today i shall share w u a bit more about amroui n ambrose. (as usual.. what else do i talk about on my blog? sex n violence? puh-leaaassseee... u want those, grab any hollywood movie >.<) well as u know, i have quite a temper; and unfortunately, my kopi-mates saw that ugly side of me.. yesterday at rag, i was pissed at 1) dying after getting lbrs buff b4 even entering mc 2) 1st to die in rag fight under 30s 2 fights in a row. 3) my inadequacy 4) that 3rd death coz of some silly aggro 5) everything else in RL. so b4 i continue, i wanna say sorry to my kopi mates for the flurry of caps n vulgarities spewing out of my keyboard. *kneels n bows head down b4 all kopis*
ok back to hot n cold. some pple say ambrose has a heart... too big a heart >.<>.<(!) it's silly i know.. n when he's that angry, he'll spew out that flurry of incoherrent crap shyt. yup. ambrose is a stammer-er, so when he's angry.... imagine how he talks (LOLROFLMFAO) but it's fine when he's in a hot rage. better than when he slips into amroui...
before he slips into amroui, he'll first start dishing out physical dmg (knocking furnitures ard.. or just kicking the ground.. (!)did u know?! ambrose has never punched another person b4! amazing! >.<(!) however, when he slips into amroui, he gets... freaky. amroui's hot rage is scary, but never experienced b4.. amroui's cold rage... that scares even me. have u had someone so cold, he shuts his mouth, his ear, n his heart out to u? yup that's amroui. so cold, he can't cry. he never has. ambrose tried to cry when his friend died 5yrs ago. amroui refused to shed a tear. all in all, COLD BLOOD-ed creatures... i dun like amroui... but i gotta live with him >.<
bear with me guys. i'll curb this temper i promise... ...

p.s. PAP has been restored to power. Here's my prediction: if PAP continue to hold power, Singapore will no longer be an economic force in 3 decades. YES not even 50 yrs. y? No modern developed country can move foward, no matter how good-willed, if they're one-dimensionally governed. PAP said think for your future.. yes because of that, we should pull PAP down FAST. PAP r good now. what about the future? how long can a government stay good under 1 leadership b4 power corrupts? think guys... most singaporeans will say "nah... will never happen...", then why the fcuk r PAPs interchanging party funds with government funds?
Quote: ...(opposition) promised (to push for) free upgrading, but they're using (PAP's) money...
honestly, there's a National budget allocating $$ for upgrading programmes. from there the HDB allocate specific amounts to each constituency for usage in upgrading. so where the fuck does that have to do with PAP's money?? go figure.. i got more, but i shan't say in this post. lest i get angry again.

- Sincere apologies,
SilentStalkR
(written by ambrose)

F.R.E.E.D.o.M

the title says it all. yup!
FREEDoM. aka Fickle Reality Eventually Entertains Dominance of Minority.
How did freedom come about? well, we live in the 'now'. however, we aren't able to properly define 'now'. supposing a time-line, we're smack at a specific point along it, but that point is never the same for 2 individuals or moment. so we can't keep referring to 'now' as 'now' for 'now' is never the same thing. instead, humans coined the set called Reality, encompassing all moments of 'now' for all individuals along parrallel time-lines on the same spacial plane.
ok enough bullshit. i didn't read Hawkings so blabbering on like this is gonna make me sooo stupid >.< but there in lies my definition of Reality. Fickle is my description of it. Reality is fickle. everything in life is. where there's choices, there's fickleness.
Dominance of Minority? Interesting idea in our modern democratized age, where majority rule or majority-accomodating rule is the norm. Thinking about this concept, many a times the first impression wld be that of an aristocratic rule, top down, PAP-style (opps u didn't hear me say that =p) authoritarian system. well, minority is a very subjective term. as much as statisticians can quote so n so % shows it's the minority, but there're many ways to look at the same issue. what might be a minority may in turn.. not be >.< discussion ="p">.<
my reference to minority is towards.. "me". well okok in general, the 'individual', but ultimately ME. ^^ u see, every individual is unique. we've seen associations form on common grounds, interests, n such, but never r 2 individuals exactly the same. hence, if each individual is unique, then each of us is a minority! kkz sounds weird, but lets accept this fact yah? so 'Dominance of Minority' refers to the dominance of ME ^^
so FREEDoM sums up what's happened in my life. a period of change. from school life to holiday. n it's in my favor, in which i'm in control. so think about it. think if what i've said is true. is the end of the exams really FREEDoM for u?
it is for me man. ahhh... FREEDoM ^^
gg.

- that wacky guy u didn't wanna associate with.
(yes that crazy one. the looney. ambrose. =p)

Funny things in life.. episode 1,531.

Unless u're my primary school friend, n even then i doubt they can recall, or if u're my lower sec friend that lost in touch with me after sec2, i'm a very punctual lad. yes! it's true! early even! Ambrose wasn't always the slack bochap latecomer he is today. But as they say, what's past is past. Lets talk about the NOW. I've made a world record today! mid-term, i walked into the exam hall 1hr late! i think.. this time, i walked into a final paper 45min late! yes u heard me right. my 9am end of semester paper! walked in at 9.50+. paper started at bout 9.05am. so go do the math :) Isn't it amazing? and just like then, i finished my paper on time! more for the lack of knowledge to do the questions than me actually being good enough to finish the paper muahaha!

which brings me to another point. m i REALLY stupid? some pple tell me "you're in university! if u're stupid, what makes me? i SLAP u ah! u say somemore.." not to mention this other comment "FWAH! ACS(I), ACJC.. branded school leh? how can be stupid? dun bluff lah.." and the one from my sis that hurts the most "kor.. who's the one with 242? n who's the one with 224? >.<" honestly, what's past is past. besides, academic intelligence does not directly relate to practical efficiency. well not always =p besides, y can't pple see beyond credentials n look at the attitude? my sis is way much better than me in every aspect, but yet when my aunties n my elder cousins talk bout role models, i tend to more often than not, be quoted coz i'm the one who went to ACS. i'm the one who's in NUS. i'm the .. FUCK lah. M i that good? Fuck all you blind fools. Look at the gem that's my sister will you? bitch.. well not that she's not being attended to, but i think she deserves better. it sucks being the younger one. u never fail to be compared with. even if u win yur elder sibling in smth, u're bound to lose out in smth else. n that SUCKS. i understand what my fren told me bout sibling favoratism. it's inevitable.
but that's not really my point newayz. the main thing is, i think if i had studied harder, i might have passed/done better. i mean.. the paper wasn't all that hard.. wait.. this sounds familiar.. i think i said this last semester muahaha! sighz.. u can tell.. i'm bad at changing. i've grown weary of life. sometime, someday, maybe it'll all come to an end.. yah.. well.. WHATEVER! haha >.<

today in my 9am paper, something terribly funny happened. while collecting the papers, this girl lost her temper n broke down in tears of fury. cursing the guy beside her (who looks terribly slack.. like me >.<) for making too much noise during the exams. man.. lucky i wasn't beside her >.<>.< but her english's quite fluent too.. singaporean then.. but.. r singaporeans capable of such outbursts? i wonder.. hmm.. =p seriously, i think exams r STUPID. seriously. i have a dream.. a dream of a new style of education. well.. morally it shd be like that of the one recently published in the newspapers from britain.. but.. well. SINCE WHEN M I A MORALLY ETHICAL PERSON? muahaha! *evil grinz* u'll hear more bout the new education i have in mind.. if i actually bother to blog it down. meanwhile.. SINGAPORE IS TOO STRESS. maybe it's because of that that we are able to flourish. but will it lead to our eventual downfall? we should discuss this.. who's we? dunno.. just. we. :)

ciao. gotta study for my 1pm paper. cya all ^^ if i fail this paper, bb NUS haha! ^^ shh.. dun tell my parents.. >.<

3 posts in one day.. wow..

it's exam period. no wow. u can tell. i'm freaking out. n i think i should just quit studying. i hate it so much.. but i can't imagine myself working either.. i'm.. wasted. >.<
newayz that's not the topic of this post. today we shall analyse the following, quoted from the movie Moulin Rouge:

Christian: All you need is love..
Satine: A girl has gotta eat.
Christian: All you need is love..
Satine: But she'll end up on the streets!
Christian: All you need is luuur...ve..
Satine: Love is just a game.

Are guys just too dense to notice? Or are girls too materialistic to see? Are all girls as such? Aren't girls the romantic ones? Why are guys the one that lose their brains when it comes to the irrational topic love? Am I stupid to question something as basic as love? Or should i delve deeper into love's nature? Since love is by far the most prominent irrationality in our lives.. "For the Love of God!" "For the Love of your Motherland!" "I'll die.. for you my love.." "..for better or worse, in sickness and health, through rich or poor, till death do us part.. do u?"

Can we live on love alone? Can love really see us through? What is this.. love? I feel.. excluded from this.. realm of society which many seems to embrace. I mean specifically, that between two person, totally unrelated by blood. Is it me, who has not opened up the eyes of my heart? Or is it my nature, the bringer of gloom n destruction, to never feel the searing pain people so cherish? Is not love a painful thing? Then again, is not pleasure derived from pain? Why then, do humanity seek to rid ourselves of all things pleasurable in our quest for enlightenment and holiness. To be cleansed of.. "evil". Does it not comprise of all the material pleasures of our world? No WoW. No Computer. No Car. No CASH? No sex. No Competition. Nothing.. Nirvana. ahh.. NOT!

Hmm.. this leaves much to ponder.. too much for my minute brain. I shall leave this to you wiser beings out there, to enlighten the ignorant aka me. Or if you can't, join me, and share with me, the burden i shoulder, to bring people.. the true meaning behind Love.

to be continued... maybe.. muahaha!
- Ambrose,
spoken w e council of e Lord of Destruction Amroui, n e Bringer of Death Silentstalkr

Too many thoughts..

I HAVE TOO MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS. FUCKING PISSED. I NEVER GET TO BLOG THEM DOWN, TILL THEY ALL SLIP AWAY. AND WHEN I ACTUALLY GET DOWN TO IT.. FUCK BLOGSPOT. I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP EVERYTHING. FUCK YOU, FUCK ALL.
my head's feeling like SHIT now. it hurts whenever i start thinking, whenever i start studying, or doing anything intellectual. I feel stupid, I feel lethargic, I feel.. WASTED.... FUCK. I hate you, I hate myself, n I hate my FUCKING TEMPER. All of you who've seen me Good, YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG! I'm a FUCKING DEMON that'll rip your head off any minute! Don't get me angry. EVER. Stay away from me.. or I'll kill you..

rant over... tired... sleepy.... dead.....
- once a boy, now a man, who thinks he's still a boy.
day is night, night is day, when will the man, rest in peace?

A Dedication

amroui: ambrose is a fucking poser. he's an act-cute crybaby. n a coolio wanna-be. he thinks he's all that, but he's no where close. he believes in "me, myself, n i", n believes he's immune to that thing called "stress". but he's not. he wanna think it, but he falls miserably short. worse still, he's too fucking weak. weak in will power, n weak in soul. he cares too much. he thinks too much. FUCK him. ambrose sucks. he's a disgrace to humanity. humanity is about striving for progress, n with weak souls like him, he's just slowing us down...

and the Dedication begins.
Ambrose.
Forget amroui for the moment. Lets talk about ME. no wait, lets talk about ME talking about OTHERS. All living creatures on this earth r more empowered than any of us humans. Why? cause we're blind, we're deaf, we're mute, n we lack that sixth sense. so what if we can think? they can too, but they chose to use their thinking powers differently. we choose to ponder about our existence. they choose to EXIST. we're blind.. blind to what's before us, till it all slips away. i always try to believe that i'll not be stressed by exams, that i can play hard as well as i can work hard. but my will is weak, i've been carried away, n these past 2 nights, i've shed a tear or 2. not about exams, but about what i've missed out in life. A friend of mine, called me amby a few days ago. Jo.. u used to call me that last time.. we used to call each other like that.. those many years ago. have u noticed? it's been 5years already. 3.5years since.. that day.. Jo. You know who i'm talking about. I don't need to tell the rest who're reading this. They don't need to know the story, only the meaning behind it all. Man says "Time will heal all wounds." I thought so too. Then i read my friend's open diary. N it all came back. Said by a girl in August 2001, nearly 5years ago.. "I've long forgiven you, but i'll never forget." Those words hold true still, to the story i'm about to say. More than 3yrs have past. You told me to move on 2yrs ago. I accepted. I could tell. we've changed. You, were no longer the You i used to know. I, wasn't what i used to be either. You seemed to have moved on, grown strongly. I... ...
amroui: FUCK YOU BLOGSPOT! You Deleted My Blogging Again! FUCK YOU! I HATE RETYPING! Whatever's gonna be said from this point on may not be true to my actual intent..
nothing to say.. i give up.. This Dedication is incomplete. Maybe it's better this way. Somethings are better left unsaid. FUCK FUCK FUCK. KNNBCCBTMDDLDLLMCBFASOABYB...