Lies..
I hate living a lie. My memory's hazy. Everything I think they were, aren't. Some things I thought were there, weren't.
On checking some hard records, I've found that quite a chunk of my memory is warped. Inaccurate. LIES. I can't tell what's true anymore. All this while I've been trying not to tell lies, and I find out that everything I say may just be a lie.. I just don't know it yet.
I should just shut up. I can't tell past from present, or if the past even occured; dreams from reality even.. the lines are blurred.. so blurred I can't tell the difference anymore.
Sleep. Maybe that's why it's the only thing I'm most inclined to do. Sleep, and run away. heh. even nowadays I can't get a decent sleep. I keep having dreams I can't remember.. I don't remember having dreams in my sleep.. or do I?
Gahh! Why oh Why must I be a Walking Lie! A hypocrite! They were right all along! oh they were so right to call me so. It wasn't them who were wrong, it was me..
I've applied for a transfer to FASS. I don't know what the outcome will be. I'd like people to pray for me. I wish I'd pray for myself. I can't help anybody if I can't help myself.. but oh, Ambrose always likes to do things he can't do 1st. Ambrose skips steps. Ambrose is impatient. That's why Ambrose is stuck in No Man's Land.. where he belongs.
One day.. driftin away.. I might find myself in a wonderland, never sleeping, never waking.. that day feels soon.. I hope not. Do I?
On checking some hard records, I've found that quite a chunk of my memory is warped. Inaccurate. LIES. I can't tell what's true anymore. All this while I've been trying not to tell lies, and I find out that everything I say may just be a lie.. I just don't know it yet.
I should just shut up. I can't tell past from present, or if the past even occured; dreams from reality even.. the lines are blurred.. so blurred I can't tell the difference anymore.
Sleep. Maybe that's why it's the only thing I'm most inclined to do. Sleep, and run away. heh. even nowadays I can't get a decent sleep. I keep having dreams I can't remember.. I don't remember having dreams in my sleep.. or do I?
Gahh! Why oh Why must I be a Walking Lie! A hypocrite! They were right all along! oh they were so right to call me so. It wasn't them who were wrong, it was me..
I've applied for a transfer to FASS. I don't know what the outcome will be. I'd like people to pray for me. I wish I'd pray for myself. I can't help anybody if I can't help myself.. but oh, Ambrose always likes to do things he can't do 1st. Ambrose skips steps. Ambrose is impatient. That's why Ambrose is stuck in No Man's Land.. where he belongs.
One day.. driftin away.. I might find myself in a wonderland, never sleeping, never waking.. that day feels soon.. I hope not. Do I?
posted by DaDeGea at 3:18:00 AM
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