Tired..
some things i just have to make clear.
if i ask you out, and you choose to accept, be happy, and be honored.
if you ask me out, and i choose to accept, be happy, and be honored.
if i reject you for whatsoever reason, do not doubt, do not suspect, do not fear, do not hate.
why can't i just choose NOT to go out?
is there something wrong with staying home?
since when was it a crime to enjoy family time, the tv, the comp, doing work, self improvement, leisure activities, AWAY from other people?
why should i account to others what i do?
i choose what to tell you, and you accept what you're told.
i try my best not to lie, and not to hide any truth if possible too. but if i feel uncomfortable saying some stuff, respect that.
if you're older than me, and you don't understand the meaning of respect and trust in a friendship, then you're a disappointment.
if it pleases people to say in jest hurting words with regards to the depth and extent of our friendship, then go ahead and have your fun while you're at it. just remember that everyone has their limits, and i'm not there for you all the time.
i promised to be available 24/7 via my h/p. sure i do miss calls, my phone batt do go dead sometimes, but i make a point to return as many calls as i can. i'm sorry if i'm not at your beck and call. i promised the a/m as a friend, not a servant nor a slave.
i have grown apart. i see friends growing spiritually, and i'm happy and jealous at the same time.
i guess it's human nature. wrong, but still human.
i have grown apart. i see friends worrying about petty stuff like studies. i hear friends worrying bout office politics and the pursuit of a higher paying stable income.
i fear i've grown pragmatic. i fear i've grown tired of people taking things far too seriously. i fear i've outgrown the stereotypes of the mainstream. and with this change in mindset, i fear i've begun to despise tertiary education, mine at least.
it's sad, but i've begun to see that most people's problems start from within, including mine. no matter how much time you spend discussing about it, thinking on it, we all end up in a vicious thought cycle, and the epicentre of this brainstorm is ultimately, ourselves.
the problem with humans is, most of us can't live without others. we need attention, we need to know somebody out there cares. we need to know that someone is behind us and ready to catch us should we fall. but the biggest problem in humans is the failure to change.
my mindset has changed, but not me. hence i understand my failings, but refuse to change them.
more and more i find flaws in people, and the problems they complain about leading from that, and i can do nothing about it. and my problem? is that i hate the sense of helplessness. although nowadays, i fear i've grown weary, and apathy is beginning to win the battle of the heart.
so back to friends. it's not that i don't wanna go out for that movie with you. i just don't feel like watching it. not because i dislike said show, i just DON'T wanna. it's not that i don't wanna go out with you to chill and hang out. i just rather not. don't blame me, don't hate me. and in all honesty i say the following, "i do NOT crap up excuses (lie) for not meeting up. even if i do, there's always a pinch of truth with my parent's blessings".
so all that ranting, and it can be summarised as such "sometimes, i just wanna be alone". ka-pish?
there're some people who're currently on the 'IT' list. these are friends that are on priority order. sure, go on, sue me for being an elitist. i'm sorry if you're not in, but i feel an affinity for these people, and if you can't rationalise it, neither can i.
in no order of merit (and withholding real names):
1) the DucK
2) BaaYeE
3) luella
4) E_Jie.
5) SalsaQueen
6) the Archer
i shall entertain no more questions with regards to the extent of our friendship. if you want an updated 'IT' list a year from now, go ahead and google it. for now, this shall suffice.
and you'd be surprised, but i can be a very boring person. so don't cry if you've got nothing to say to me, or me to you. it may surprise you, but silence transcends communication barriers.
isn't it not a wise saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?
if i ask you out, and you choose to accept, be happy, and be honored.
if you ask me out, and i choose to accept, be happy, and be honored.
if i reject you for whatsoever reason, do not doubt, do not suspect, do not fear, do not hate.
why can't i just choose NOT to go out?
is there something wrong with staying home?
since when was it a crime to enjoy family time, the tv, the comp, doing work, self improvement, leisure activities, AWAY from other people?
why should i account to others what i do?
i choose what to tell you, and you accept what you're told.
i try my best not to lie, and not to hide any truth if possible too. but if i feel uncomfortable saying some stuff, respect that.
if you're older than me, and you don't understand the meaning of respect and trust in a friendship, then you're a disappointment.
if it pleases people to say in jest hurting words with regards to the depth and extent of our friendship, then go ahead and have your fun while you're at it. just remember that everyone has their limits, and i'm not there for you all the time.
i promised to be available 24/7 via my h/p. sure i do miss calls, my phone batt do go dead sometimes, but i make a point to return as many calls as i can. i'm sorry if i'm not at your beck and call. i promised the a/m as a friend, not a servant nor a slave.
i have grown apart. i see friends growing spiritually, and i'm happy and jealous at the same time.
i guess it's human nature. wrong, but still human.
i have grown apart. i see friends worrying about petty stuff like studies. i hear friends worrying bout office politics and the pursuit of a higher paying stable income.
i fear i've grown pragmatic. i fear i've grown tired of people taking things far too seriously. i fear i've outgrown the stereotypes of the mainstream. and with this change in mindset, i fear i've begun to despise tertiary education, mine at least.
it's sad, but i've begun to see that most people's problems start from within, including mine. no matter how much time you spend discussing about it, thinking on it, we all end up in a vicious thought cycle, and the epicentre of this brainstorm is ultimately, ourselves.
the problem with humans is, most of us can't live without others. we need attention, we need to know somebody out there cares. we need to know that someone is behind us and ready to catch us should we fall. but the biggest problem in humans is the failure to change.
my mindset has changed, but not me. hence i understand my failings, but refuse to change them.
more and more i find flaws in people, and the problems they complain about leading from that, and i can do nothing about it. and my problem? is that i hate the sense of helplessness. although nowadays, i fear i've grown weary, and apathy is beginning to win the battle of the heart.
so back to friends. it's not that i don't wanna go out for that movie with you. i just don't feel like watching it. not because i dislike said show, i just DON'T wanna. it's not that i don't wanna go out with you to chill and hang out. i just rather not. don't blame me, don't hate me. and in all honesty i say the following, "i do NOT crap up excuses (lie) for not meeting up. even if i do, there's always a pinch of truth with my parent's blessings".
so all that ranting, and it can be summarised as such "sometimes, i just wanna be alone". ka-pish?
there're some people who're currently on the 'IT' list. these are friends that are on priority order. sure, go on, sue me for being an elitist. i'm sorry if you're not in, but i feel an affinity for these people, and if you can't rationalise it, neither can i.
in no order of merit (and withholding real names):
1) the DucK
2) BaaYeE
3) luella
4) E_Jie.
5) SalsaQueen
6) the Archer
i shall entertain no more questions with regards to the extent of our friendship. if you want an updated 'IT' list a year from now, go ahead and google it. for now, this shall suffice.
and you'd be surprised, but i can be a very boring person. so don't cry if you've got nothing to say to me, or me to you. it may surprise you, but silence transcends communication barriers.
isn't it not a wise saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?
posted by DaDeGea at 2:13:00 AM
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